First a sigh. Then I'll sit and wonder what to type while I fight myself to be more positive.

Some people, they get good things happening to them. Some people don't. In a perfect world, in my perfect world, I'd be working an office job, standard 9-5 hours, being paid according to my qualifications realizing both work content and work quality.

After 5, I'd prolly head to some bar to have a few drinks and go home. Yes, in my perfect world I'd be married probably with 2.5 kids and dogs. At night we'd hang out together because we're a family.

Then I'd go to bed after tucking in my kids. Then I'd hug my husband to sleep and in the morning when I wake up I would not think about think about anyone, I would not think about the what ifs, the what could've beens, I would be happy again.

Time passes without my realizing it. It feels that I have been here for too long. I could give up but who would take care of my parents?

I've tried.