"Ladies and gentlemen, we regret to inform you that flight mh389 will be delayed indefinitely due to immigration clearence. Chinese officials are unable to give us an estimate as to when we will be able to..."

Yes. I believe in karma now. This is China trying to get back at me for giving them the finger dressed in the most unconservative way in a previous post. I HATE CHINA!

Stuck inside an un-moving plane for 2 hours makes me want to scream. No, I did not. I took it out on another person. A person that won't give me what I want and I swear I have given him all that I can.

Why do people fall in love? Why do people like me fall in love? Do I ask for a lot? No, I seriously do not think so. All I want is a shot at doing things right, at the same kind of happiness other people have. Yet I fail. Jesus must hate me a lot. Read, J00 4r3 4 f41lur3! J35u5 h4+35 J00!

I digress again. Where was I? Oh..okay. As a result, my flight from Shanghai to KLIA which was supposed to depart at 1535 hours finally took off at 1720 hours. Gut feeling told me that I wouldn't make it in time for my connecting flight back to Kuching at 2215 hours.

I was right. Upon arriving at KLIA, MAS' ground staff was waiting, holding a sign that says "Kuching, Penang, Melbourne Transfers". I gave him my boarding pass, so did a few other people. The ones going to Penang were given new boarding passes for a later flight. Two other fellow Sarawakians and I were given a food voucher and placed in a hotel room.

The hotel room has no windows. I opened the curtains to find a wall staring back at me. It was unnerving. I have never been in a hotel room that doesn't have windows and i dont understand why there are curtains when there are no windows and i absolutely loathe it.

I'd post pics of the hotel room..but i can't be bothered.

My mutated monkey gods are not on my side today.

I hate life.

Everybody hates me.

I want to die.

There, my daily dose of emo whining.

How do we sleep at night knowing that we are hurting another person?
How do we sleep at night if we are that person who's hurting?
How do we hold our heads up high when there is no pride left in us?
How do we go on if we feel that there is no hope left?
How do we go through life knowing that we are second best?
How much can a person bleed?
How much sadness can one person take?
How does one go back to where it all began?
How long does it take before one regains...

:(

Okay, almost time to go home so I can wrap up my trip now. Upon arriving in Shanghai, I found that the place is actually quite clean and the skyline is great. Having been on ground level for the past few months however, I've found that there are certain things about Shanghai that I dislike.

The Men
I was told that Shanghainese are generally very proud. They pride themselves in being modern, shrewd, beautiful and the lord knows what else since they live in the largest city in China - also the ONLY city that actually resembles a city in China.

Three days into my trip, I was walking pass a park (not through it, mind you) when this guy grabbed my right arm and said in mandarin "Can we be friends?" to which I replied in English "I'm sorry, I don't speak Chinese", a lie of course - to which he said and I quote "ohh! uh..hotel! Make love!" so I grabbed him by the neck because I was angry and some girl came up and asked me what's going on and I told her and she in turn screamed for the policeman who was walking towards us already anyway and took the guy away. Asshole.

Okay..that's first encounter.

A week in, I realize that people here are not only proud. They are obnoxious. The chinks are rude, full of themselves and think that the world revolves around them. They are also under the impression that the whole world is trying to learn mandarin, that mandarin is the new franca lingua! Why? Because they themselves do not speak English and therefore, all the westerners that I've seen here carry around English - Mandarin dictionaries. DUMBASSES! It's not because they're trying to learn your language, it's because you don't speak the international language!

To survive in Shanghai, one must learn how to be rude and obnoxious. If I stay here any longer, I'd become as bitchy and as bitter as they are. Truth to be told, I've already adapted.

For example, everytime I walk out of the apartment building wearing one of the tops that I brought, men here (and I swear, they all look like Kim Jong Il) stare at my boobs..women too..and at my tattoo if I'm not facing them. I'd turn around and see them staring. Sometimes they'd walk really close to say something but I've never listened hard enough to hear what they're saying.

At first, I was annoyed at how conservative the people here are. And then I got pissed. So when this guy came up to me one day and said something, I told him really really loudly so that everyone around me could hear "DO NOT TALK TO ME! EVEN MY SHOES ARE MORE EXPENSIVE THAN YOUR LIFE!!" in mandarin..and he went quiet and I've never gotten stares from the people downstairs since.

People here are not used to girls talking back at them. You needn't worry about getting beaten up by triads like in Kuching either. Raise your voice once and they become all docile and nice.

I learnt two things from that experience.

1. My mandarin is fluent only when I'm angry.
2. People here are only nice to you if you're bitchy.

The Women
Next, I met this two Shanghainese girls Joy and Wei through a friend from Singapore. Let's call him T.
Joy and my Singaporean friend, T.

Now, T met Joy approximately four months ago on his first (I think) trip here in a club. T has since falled head over heels in love with Joy. T has also spent numerous amounts of call credits, calling and sms-ing her from Singapore. On top of that, he has also spent a lot of money on her, buying gifts and giving her cash to spend. He has once asked Jubes to help pass her RMB5,000 but Jubes refused, thank God.

Joy and her friend Wei told T a sop story about how Joy spent 9 years in Sydney and holds and Australian passport but doesn't like to speak English. T told me that everytime he speaks English she would scold him. Joy also likes to sleep and does not wake up til 4-5pm every day. She also goes to the salon everyday upon waking up.

Okay, that's the background. On the eve of the day that T was supposed to leave, he came over to hang out here and we smoked a few joints and then he started talking about her non stop. I think he himself isn't so sure of this girl which is why he keeps talking about and asking for opinions about her. He told me how she brought him to her aunt's place for dinner and promptly got introduced to her cousin who happens to be a bookie and is owing people RMB600,000 and that her family is trying to help him and can come up with RMB570,000 so she needed to borrow RMB30,000 from him. He also mentioned that she coulnd't go to the airport to see him off the next day because she would not be awake yet. (?!)

So being stoned and being sick of getting my stoneness killed by someone who wouldn't stop talking about her, I decided to tell him off.

Point 1: She meets him around 5pm everyday and then has dinner with us and leaves with her friend Wei at around 9pm or so. What does she do after that?

Point 2: What kind of friend would not see another friend off at the airport especially if he made this trip solely to see her?

Point 3: What does she do after 9pm everyday? Why does she wake up at 4pm-5pm?!

I pointed the above out to him and then I finally found out that she works in a nightclub as a hostess. He swears that she doesn't sleep with customers, she just sings and drinks with them!

My conclusion: She's just in it for the cash. Worst part, my friend hasn't even gotten to 2nd base with her yet. But let's be honest, my friend isn't exactly Brad Pitt either and having been single for the past 4 years, it's inevitable.

The People in General
So then I went to the salon, mostly out of boredom and the fact that it's really cheap here. The two guys that did my hair started talking to me, asked me where I'm from and all that. I told them that I am from Malaysia. No surprise that they don't know where it is but when I asked them what's good to eat in Shanghai, they asked me if I've ever been to KFC or McD's. I learnt that day that KFC and McD's are a luxury here. I know! WTF!! I almost laughed my head off at them. I went to KFC the other day and realized why. 1 piece of chicken costs 7 bucks. YARGH!

To make matters worst, they decided to try and sell me some L'oreal hair product for RMB800. Infact, this is how the conversation started.

Guy: Do you want to buy this hair treatment cream?

Me: What hair treatment cream?

Guy: This one. By L'oreal.

Me: Uh..How much is that?

Guy: Ohh only RMB800. Have you ever heard of L'oreal? It's from Paris.

At this point I started laughing and told him that L'oreal product is mediocre brand and are sold in supermarkets in Malaysia. Then I took out my Christian Dior eye shadow and asked him "Have you ever heard of Christian Dior?" to which he replied no and I said to him "In that case, don't try to cheat my cash." In anycase, he sold me the L'oreal hair mask for RMB200. I WIN!

As I was leaving the salon, the manager there decided to talk to me. She decided to critisize my face and my clothing. This is how the conversation went.

Manager: Where are you from?

Me: Malaysia

Manager: Ohh..*blank*. Your skirt's very short. *looks at my back* Ohh..no wonder. You have a tattoo.

Me: Yeah...

Manager: So you wear this to show off your tattoo?

Me: Look woman, I don't know what it is about you people and tattoos but mine has been around for about 4 years now and where I come from, 9 out of 10 of the girls I know has a tattoo so we really don't need to show it off anymore.

Manager: Oh..I see. Uh..do you want to do facial? You're very dark and your skin needs improvement.

Me: No, not really.

Manager: Why not? Girls in Shanghai come in here to do facials all the time. We don't use much make up, we stress on good skin.

Me: *insulted* Duh! women here don't know about anything other than trying to be beautiful because they need their looks to make money. Let's face it, half of you only know how to try and con people off their cash and the other half work in nightclubs, correct?

Manager: Yes, but still they are beautiful girls and have fair skin.

Me: Beautiful on the outside, dirty on the inside. I spend a lot of time at resorts all over the world to get the perfect tan. What about you? Have u been outside of China at all?!

Manager: Yes..Hong Kong.

Me: *laughs* Hong Kong was returned to China back in '97, haven't you heard? *walks away*

Again, all the above conversations were conducted in Mandarin and once more, my mandarin rocks when I am pissed! So HAH to you Latzes back home!

This is what I want to say to China

ORGY SASHIMI! MITSUBISHI HONDA TOYOTA! BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

My pride hit ground zero today, not much different from the WTC back in '99.

I do not understand people who complain about their lives when it's already going so well. Worst, they do things that contradict what they have been complaining about.

I envy those that have the financial freedom that I don't - there are debts to be paid, sins of the forefathers carried down to the next generation and the next and the next.

When I have a kid I will teach him to embrace magnanimity, because as we all know life is a war and in wars there are winners and then there are losers and victory is only an interregnum before the next war begins again.

I keep telling myself that the sky is my limit, that I can reach for the stars if I try hard enough, but everytime that I do, I fall face first onto the ground below..but it always feels like I never hit the ground, just soaring two inches above..gliding through.

I need to revamp my life. I need to feel beautiful again. B, you are the only person that makes me feel beautiful, though I don't even know why. You are the only person that actually listens to my rant, correct me when I'm wrong, tell me when I'm right, encourage me to go after my dreams. You are by far, the only person that truly listen.

You were right. Life isn't about changing someone, his life, his perception. It's about pursuing our own happiness. I tried to change him but it's just not working out the way I thought it would.

***Note to self: Move on, move up, don't look back, don't look down. Do NOT fall!

Look At It From My Point Of View...

Staple diet. Caramel Macchiato and Dunhill.

I got bored and started playing around with my cam?

I asked everyone what the boat was carrying. Noone knows.

Big red truck. I like big red trucks! It's from the Fire Dept. Seriously.

When I was in Vietnam, people used to squat around. I think it's mandatory to squat in third world countries.

I wanted to ride this thing.
How can the street be empty with 20 million people living here?

The view from my apartment at night. I'm on the 5th floor. The other buildings are apartments too. Scary.

Hehe, I found this shop yesterday. Ku Wak Chai!!!!!

I think they bought their clothes at Ku Wak Chai!

There's something about streets that are lined with trees that I love very very much. And women on bicycles.

This is me, in Shanghai's Waterfront..or more widely known as The Bund! WooT. Does it even look like China?

Yeap..more of me. You guys will see me putting on weight gradually as food is good and cheap. Okay, it's not that great but it sure is CHEAP! Woot!

This is breakfast. It's served with "yaw char kuay", some dough that's deepfried, almost like a doughnut but harder, very oily and GOOD! It comes with a drink and it set me back RMB6; which is RM3, which is USD0.88! bwahahahah

This is a very healthy ginseng chicken + other spare parts soup. The chicken is black. Nigga to the max. This proves that I'm not a racist. This soup cost me RMB30, which is RM15, USD5 or so. In Malaysia, this would cost me RM70 or more!

This is what I hated seeing most. I'm glad Schumacher didn't win last night. I'm sad that Alonso didn't even make it to the finish. I'm angry that de la Rosa actually made it to the podium and I have mixed feelings about Button now. A mixture of pure hatred and lust.

Starbucks is everywhere. This is my favourite Starbucks, or "xin ba ke" if you wanna be chink about it. This one is located in this area called Xin Tian Di. It's like the Main Bazaar back home where a bunch of all buildings have been renovated/refurnished/re-whatever to make it all nice and clean and thus turned into a tourist attraction area. There's a museum somewhere in there but they didn't allow me to take pictures.

It's also filled with alleys that look like this. I somehow find that the alleys are more beautiful than the other areas.

Remember Anthony Bourdain or Ian Wright on TV talking about the Pao(more like dumplings if you ask me) that's sold at the temple that's filled with crab roe and everyone just wants to buy them?

They weren't kidding. Check out the line in front of me...I can't even see the shop from here!

And THEN check out the line behind me. Suffice to say, I gave up halfway..No food can be THAT great. Of course I'll go back again sometime this week, when there aren't as many people. *keeps fingers crossed and remembers to bring her AK for maximum genocide effex0rs!*

Temple + McDs. Thus, McD's = Food for the Gods! I TOLD JOO SO! I TOLD JOO SO!! RAWR!

Blah..I have more pics but I can't be bothered to write about them all..and am unable to log into multiply from here. Next time my fans, next time. Don't push it! Gah! hehe

Stoned in Shanghai

China has disappointed me. I was expecting to meet rude people, see people digging their own ditches to take a crap, animal cadavres lining the streets (marinated or non marinated). Shanghai is very very cosmopolitan. People from all over the world are here, most of them for work. Most of the chinks here are nice too, except the taxi drivers. Those are an angry lot. They honk for no reason and for every reason. BEEEP!!!!

Shanghai is very clean too. This is how they clean their walls. I guess if labour in Malaysia is cheaper, we'd be able to afford men cleaning walls with the smallest of brushes.

Over here, the skyline is dominated by skyscrapers that rival Hong Kong's. Let me put it this way, the tallest building in Asia is now in Shanghai...but I don't know which is it because everywhere I look, the buildings are so gigantic and tall it makes me feel small. Then again, I'm walking amonsgt 17 million people. No wonder I feel so small.

I will blog more when I get back to Kuching. Oh yes, the Chinese officials at the airport doesn't do nuts. Show them your passport and they'll stamp it and wave you through impatiently. I managed to smuggle some greens over too. YEAY!

See...I told you guys that one day I'll make it back to Mainland China!!! Shanghai, here I come! And my Nanak is going with me!! w00taneous!!!