Misconceptions. Misdirections. People assume things. They assume that I can do it. They assume that I have it. For example, everyone thinks that I'm this nice person that does nice things. Some assume that I'm this bitchy person that does all the wrong things.

The truth of the matter is I'm just as confused as..well, as a mule in stuck in the arctic. That actually is a bad metaphor seeing as the mule would be dead considering how cold it is up there.

Then again I wish I was dead already.

I'm do not have suicidal tendencies. In fact, I love life. Everyday I try to do something different. Someone told me "do something that scares you everyday". Everything scares me these days. The lack of direction, the lack of a social life, the lack of cash, the turmoil of emotions that runs through my being everytime I see something that I don't like, the fury and the need to lash out at someone just because things are not going the way I want it to go.

But for now, I truly give up all hope. There's just no point in fighting the mass.

Kudos.

Sometimes in life, you just cannot get what you want.

I apologize to those that I've wronged. I hope you get what you want out of life.

Today has been pretty much uneventful to say the least. When all is said and done, and the world has come to pass, bury me upside down so the world can kiss my arse.

Really.

I wonder..

If you were me would you feel the same way?
What am I? Who am I?
I am collateral damage
You have it all
A life, a home, a family
I have nothing
Right now, it feels like I have noone either

If you were in my shoes
Would you be hurting like I am hurting now?
Would you cry, could you stop crying
Would you scream into your pillow
In hopes that noone else can hear your sorrows?
A ghost of what I once was


I wonder..
If you were me
If you had gone through what I had
Would you still be alive
Or would you have given up?